Jeff is telling me he’s tried everything to build muscle but still can’t add any weight. He works out. He uses supplements. He eats a lot. And still, he says, nothing happens. I’m sitting in an Irish pub at a long table with Richelle and an assortment of her friends, many I’ve never met, including…… More
Today was more evil treadmill sprints. This time they had barbell complexes thrown in between instead of abs. (Really, Martin? Really?) I felt like I had to vomit, shit, and sneeze at the same time. I swear to god Martin Rooney is trying to kill me. Still, I understand why he has these intense interval sprints in…… More
This experiment is becoming a full-time job. So much so that it’s starting to negatively affect my real job of running Scrawny To Brawny. Between cooking, eating, working out, and documenting everything in a journal, I’m spending close to 7 hours per day working on this stuff. In contrast, I’m maybe doing two to three hours of…… More
Today was my first 24-hour fast day. Apparently it’s all part of some master plan of JB’s. Here’s what happened: 9:00 AM – Wake up 9:30 AM – Realize I don’t have to make a huge breakfast or eat toast. I am ecstatic. 10:15 AM – Prepare my breakfast of greens powder, green tea, and BCAA caps.…… More
When you’re shoveling three huge meals into your mouth every day, timing is everything. My “normal” schedule — at least for the past five days — has been breakfast at 8:00 AM, lunch at 2:00 PM, and dinner at 7:00 PM. But today I fucked up my whole day. I slept in till 9:30 AM.…… More
Today I called a pair of dumbbells “motherfuckers.” As in, All right you motherfuckers, let’s go. I never talk like this. At least not to inanimate objects. My friend Kyle — who was working out with me at MUST — burst out laughing. What’s next? You gonna call the barbell a pussy? he asked. Thing is, I wasn’t upset…… More
“Can I get three pounds of the chicken, please?” I’m standing at the deli because I’ve determined that cooking every single one of my meals at home is a laborious task and I’ve got too much shit to do. I mean, I already spend two hours just eating my lunch. So while I’ll continue to make my…… More
Can I quickly talk to you about my ass? I’m sorry — I don’t really want to. But I think you should know how god-awful my bowel movements have been the past two days, lest you decide you want to try this experiment for yourself. I’ll spare you most of the details, and just say…… More
Last night before I went to bed I weighed 178 pounds. This morning I weigh 171 pounds. That leads me to believe I farted about seven pounds’ worth of gas during my sleep, which makes me feel both disgusting and very, very bad for Richelle, with whom I share a bed. But still, a 3…… More
I stare at the clock and shake my head. Then I look back at my plate of food. This is my breakfast: Breakfast Pudding 2 frozen bananas 3 scoops casein protein 2 squares high cacao chocolate small amount of almond milk Also 4 pieces whole grain bread 2 Tbsp almond butter 2 Tbsp favorite jam…… More